How are things at home?
This will offer the individual to open up about their home life and choose what they wish or do not wisk to discuss.
Is there anything else happening that may be affecting your health?
This will link into the wider determinants of health rather than some of the core aspects such as physical or mental wellbeing. It might be there are no sign, symptoms or previous conversations so can usually unpick hidden issues.
Is there anything else that we haven’t talked about that might be contributing to this condition?
It offers an opportunity for the individual to discuss anything further they believe might be impacting their wellbeing. Even if you suspect domestic violence is happening, the victim may still deny it. It is important to remember that opening up is not easy and it can take some time for the victim to gather the courage to disclose their experiences.
Other useful regional services:
If you are worried about someone being abused
Let them know you've noticed something is wrong. They might not be ready to talk, but try to find quiet times when they can talk if they choose to. If someone confides in you that they're suffering domestic abuse:
- listen, and take care not to blame them
- acknowledge it takes strength to talk to someone about experiencing abuse
- give them time to talk, but do not push them to talk if they do not want to
- acknowledge they're in a frightening and difficult situation
- tell them nobody deserves to be threatened or beaten, despite what the abuser has said
- support them as a friend, encourage them to express their feelings, and allow them to make their own decisions
- do not tell them to leave the relationship or leave home if they're not ready – that's their decision
- ask if they have suffered physical harm and if they have, offer to go with them to a hospital or GP
- help them report the assault to the police if they choose to
- be ready to provide information about organisations that offer help for people experiencing domestic abuse
Start with an open mind
A lack of empathy and attentiveness are real barriers for identifying domestic abuse and affect the victim’s ability and willingness to disclose their experiences.
The victim may already be experiencing feelings of shame, embarrassment, helplessness and hopelessness. Therefore, it is vital that they are not subjected to prejudiced, patronising or pressurising behaviour.
The first step in starting a conversation about domestic abuse is to make sure you have an open mind and a non-judgemental attitude.
Active Listening
When you practice active listening, you make the other person feel heard and valued. It also helps you to understand their situation better as well as earn their trust.
Give the person your undivided attention. Put aside any distractions (like your phone or computer) and make eye contact with them.
You can use your own body language and gestures to show they have your attention, for example by nodding occasionally and using small verbal comments like ‘hmmm’ and ‘uh-huh’.
In addition to listening to what is said, watch their non-verbal behaviour to pick up on hidden meaning. Facial expressions, body language and tone of voice can sometimes tell you more than words alone.
Resist the temptation to jump in with answers or advice. Interrupting may close down the conversation. If you’re already thinking about solutions or preparing your reply while they speak, you won’t be fully listening to what they are saying.
Repeat a summary of what has been said back to the patient, pulling together the main points that they have made and organise them so that they can be reviewed, confirmed or corrected.
Refuge
Contact the National Domestic Abuse Helpline for free and in confidence, 24 hours a day - 0808 2000 247
Respect - Men's Advice Line
The helpline for male victims of domestic abuse. Freephone 0808 8010327 Monday to Friday 9am - 8pm
ManKind Initiative - For male victims of domestic violence
Confidential helpline for male victims of domestic abuse weekdays 10am until 4pm 01823 334 244
Galop
Support LGBT+ people who have experienced abuse and violence. The helpine is 0800 999 5428
National Centre for Domestic Violence
We do not charge victims of domestic violence or abuse for this help, we never have and we never will. Sometimes the Legal Aid Agency will demand payment which we will help you navigate and provide you with a solution this if this occurs.
The National Centre for Domestic Violence was established in 2003 to help survivors of domestic violence and abuse obtain protection against an abuser, as well as offering services to the police, probation service, domestic abuse agency workers, the legal profession and judiciary.
We specialise in providing free, fast and effective support to survivors of domestic violence and abuse, usually by helping individuals obtain injunctions from their local county court. This free service is provided to everybody, regardless of their financial circumstances, sexual orientation, race, gender, age, political, religious belief or otherwise.
Control
The film highlights the dangers of emotional abuse in teenage relationships. Too many young people are coerced into controlling relationships by their partners, who use their power to emotionally control every aspect of their lives.
Family Lives
Family Lives provides targeted early intervention and crisis support to families. If you need to talk, we're here to listen
Bright Sky App
Bright Sky is a safe, easy to use app and website that provides practical support and information on how to respond to domestic abuse. It is for anyone experiencing domestic abuse, or who is worried about someone else.
National Stalking Helpline
Are you worried that someone might be stalking you? We understand that it can feel difficult seeking support and this tool is here to help you with the following:
The law in relation to stalking and harassment in the United Kingdom
Reporting stalking or harassment
Effective gathering of evidence
Improving your personal safety and that of your friends and family
Practical steps to reduce the risk
Accessing local services such as housing, emotional support etc.
Please be aware that this tool is unable to give you a definitive answer as to whether you are being stalked or not, if you would like to know more about this, please call or email us.