Encourage the person to get some support such as a counsellor or practical help
Ask the person:
- Have you talked to anyone else about this?
- Is there anything that has helped when you have felt like this before?
- Would you like to get some help?
Options include:
- Contacting their GP for an emergency appointment or call their out of hours service
- Calling their mental health worker if they have one
- Calling their social worker or key worker if they have one
For someone who is reluctant to get help ask:
- Do you have someone you trust you can go to?
- Do you have a suicide safety plan?
If they don’t want help, don’t push them, but try to leave key phone numbers with them including the Samaritans (see below).
How are you feeling?
Often people want to talk, but wait until someone asks how they are. Try asking open questions, like 'What happened about...', 'Tell me about...', 'How do you feel about...'
Repeat back what they say to show you understand, and ask more questions.
Focus on feelings instead of trying to solve the problem - it can be of more help and shows you care.
Respect what they tell you. Sometimes it's easy to want to try and fix a person's problems, or give them advice. Let them make their own decisions.
Be aware of verbal or physical cues of anger and/or emotional distress
Is there anything you did that helped you when you had felt this way before?
Have you had any suicidal thoughts or thoughts about taking your own life?
Do you have a Suicide Safety Plan?
Other useful regional services:
Be alert and aware
Not everyone who thinks about suicide will tell someone and there are some people who give no indication at all of their intention. However, there are warning signs that we can all look out for. These include, if a person is:
Talking or writing about death, dying or suicide.
Actively looking for ways to kill themselves.
Talking about feeling hopeless or of having no reason to live.
Talking about being a burden to others.
Talking about feeling trapped or in unbearable pain.
Increasing the use of alcohol or drugs.
Suddenly very much ‘recovered’ after a period of depression.
Visiting or calling people unexpectedly to say goodbye either directly or indirectly.
Making arrangements; setting their affairs in order.
Giving things away, such as prized possession
The best way to help is to ask questions. That way you leave the other person in control. By asking questions, the person you are talking with finds his or her own answers.
A person might not be suicidal, but you could be worried
Signs to look out for
- Feeling restless and agitated
- Feeling angry and aggressive
- Feeling tearful
- Being tired or lacking in energy
- Not wanting to talk to or be with people
- Not wanting to do things they usually enjoy
- Using alcohol or drugs to cope with feelings
- Finding it hard to cope with everyday things
- Not replying to messages or being distant
- Talking about feeling hopeless, helpless or worthless
- Talking about feeling trapped by life circumstances they can’t see a way out of, or feeling unable to escape their thoughts
- A change in routine, such as sleeping or eating more or less than normal
- Engaging in risk-taking behaviour, like gambling or violence
There is no evidence that talking about suicide can be harmful, for many people it can be huge relief to be asked the question in a direct way
Anyone who talks or writes about taking their own life should be taken seriously. Never assume that a person who has spoken about suicidal thoughts before and not acted on those thoughts won’t do so this time.
Suicide can be a stigmatised subject, language is important i.e. ensuring you don't say things like 'commit' suicide.
The best way to help is to ask questions which leave the other person in control. Ask open questions such as: tell me about, when did you realise, where did that happen, how did that feel.
- Repeat back what they say to show you understand and ask more questions
- Focus on feelings instead of trying to solve the problem, it shows you care
- Respect what they tell you
- Be aware of verbal or physical cues of anger or emotional distress
- A person may not be suicidal but you may still be concerned
Papyrus
Papyrus is a support service for young people who are thinking about harming themselves.
If you are having thoughts of suicide or are concerned for a young person who might be you can contact HOPELINE247 for confidential support and practical advice.
Call 0800 068 4141 or text 07860039967 or email pat@papyrus-uk.org
Lines are open 24 hours every day of the year (Weekends and Bank Holidays included).
Samaritans
The Samaritans are available 24 hours a day 7 days a week by calling 116 123.
Mind
Mind provide advice and support for anyone experiencing a mental health problem. Their website is full of helpful information and support options.
Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM)
The Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) is a movement against suicide. Every week 125 people in the UK take their own lives. And 75% of all UK suicides are male. Call 0800 585858.
Shout
24/7 text support service. Providing free and confidential support. Text 'Shout' to 85258 24/7
Silverline
The Silver Line is the only free confidential helpline providing information, friendship and support to older people, open 24 hours a day, every day of the year. Need help call anytime on 0800 4 70 80 90 or visit our website.
Every Mind Matters
Having good mental health helps us relax more, achieve more and enjoy our lives more. We have expert advice and practical tips to help you look after your mental health and wellbeing.
Answer 5 quick questions to get your free plan with tips to deal with stress, anxiety, improve your sleep, boost your mood and feel more in control
R;pple
R;pple is an interceptive tool designed to present a visual prompt when a person searches for harmful keywords or phrases relating to the topic of self-harm or suicide. These phrases include any words or terminology which have been identified as displaying potentially damaging online content.
Look after yourself, look out for others, get help early
The North East and North Cumbria Suicide Prevention Network, in collaboration with suicide prevention charity Every Life Matters Cumbria, have launched three new short animations as part of our “look after yourself, look out for others, and get help early” awareness campaign.
The aim is to use the animations to reach as many people as possible, especially people who may be struggling to cope and to help prevent anyone feeling they need to struggle alone.
Staying Safe
The Staying Safe website provides vital ‘Safety Plan’ guidance tools jointly funded by NHS England, with easy to print / online templates and guidance.
Safety Plan are used to build hope, identify actions and strategies to resist suicidal thoughts and develop positive ways to cope with stress and emotional distress.
Combat Stress
We are Combat Stress, the UK’s leading charity for veterans’ mental health. For over a century, we’ve helped former servicemen and women with mental health problems such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anxiety and depression.
Today we provide specialist treatment and support for veterans from every service and conflict, focusing on those with complex mental health issues.
Small Talk Saves Lives
If you think somebody needs help, trust your instincts and start a conversation. A little small talk can be all it takes to start someone on a journey to recovery.